is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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