I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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