I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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