So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
