Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
