i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize