just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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