Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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