i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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