it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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