i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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