This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
