I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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