I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Say something about gay babies.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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