Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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