its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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