I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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