Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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