"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
