Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
