Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
