And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
