so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
