How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
