He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
