I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
