Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
