Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
