I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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