I cockslap morals
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
