I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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