And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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