my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
