reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
