is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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