you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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