I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
