Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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