Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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