So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
