I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
