Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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