i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
