never play flip cup with pint glasses
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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