the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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