she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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