i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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