its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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