So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
