I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
