I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I supernannyed him into submission
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