dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
fuck your aforementioned shoe
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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