I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
then he tried to convert me to islam
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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