We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
