you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
zippers are such a cool invention
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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