tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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