um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
