what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
