She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i dont even know how to be here
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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