the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
