I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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