whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
