you traded sex for a burrito?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
