That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
